sometimes, sometimes

sometimes i miss him. i haven't seen him online on msn for a few days... and my mobile card has expired so i cant call him..
i know it s impossible that we can be together again. it s my problem... not his...
but sometimes i think about our 3 years...it has been a long time...no body else can give me such a rosy memory. he s as soft as milk. he s such a nice guy.
sometimes i feel very guilty.
sometimes i think, what do i feel if he has somebody else? yes.. i will definitely feel jealous. but i will pray for them
will i?
he swears many times that he will love me forever. yes, i trust he will. i m his first love. a man won't forget his first love. but maybe i will only be a little girl inside his heart, forever young, forever 16 years old.
but i m not the one who stays with him for the rest of his life.
maybe i will be successful. maybe i will meet another sweet guy, smart and gentle.
but he will not give me another memory like what i had when i was 16 years old.
when i was 16, everything was so pure.
colorful sky upon my head. cool breeze.beautiful school uniforms. so many kind-hearted friends. and amazing school and teachers.
and i have a boy who said he would love me forever.